Counting My Blessings Amongst The Crow’s Feet
Every day I wake up a little bit older. As I advance into middle age I check the mirror just a little more and see the crow’s feet starting to form as I apply more cream and think if it is really going to work. Yes it’s my fortieth birthday and I am feeling a bit old.
I think a cup of coffee will get me out of my slump but as I go down the stairs my joints are stiff. Wonderful, my second present, leg arthritis! This day is just getting better. What could go wrong next? I picture myself retiring all hunched over with a cane, this has to be happening at a rapid pace and faster than anyone else.
I go through my usual day of getting the kids off to school and then drive down the road to work in a slight drizzle. Great, as I think to myself, a perfect addition to my mood; rain. As I get to my office I think what a great day it is to walk in the rain from my parking spot to the building and why I bothered even doing my hair.
To top it off there is a bouquet of black balloons from my well meaning co-workers. I try to laugh as I slump in my desk and really being a pity party over my declining state of being, knowing it is all down hill from here until death.
By the afternoon I am in a basic state of depression and mourning my youth when I see my phone ID spark Lisa’s name as it rings. I pick it up knowing that she will be having fun teasing me since she is after all two years younger than me. But she is not her usual self and the teasing has a bit of sadness to it.
She tries not to cry but I want to know what is wrong as she tells me, ‘I’m so sorry to tell you this today, but I just found out I have breast cancer and I really need a friend right now.’ After hearing this devastating news I feel awful. Here I am in my pity party of one and my best friend just got the worst news of her life. As I console her and tell her it is going to be okay I am slapping myself for being such a selfish idiot.
As I drive home I think to myself how fortunate I am. I have my health I don’t have to make up a disease. My kids are all healthy. I have a good job and roof over my head. There are so many people who have so much less than I do and they have joy. As I scold myself for being so innately stupid in my way of thinking I pull into the driveway where my husband and kids have made a special dinner for me and as I enter the door I no longer think about the crow’s feet but how blessed I truly am.